Social Experiment: The Tale of Two Profiles

*note I changed the original picture since somebody decided to make it an issue because I photoshop some pictures to make my skin smoother. Due to lighting and some apps yes that can lighten skin. In no way am I ashamed of my true complexion. So ask a question before you make assumptions that I am ashamed of my skin tone*  
It’s bizarro how I am finding everything about my life a social experiment lately.  It is what fueled me to write my latest blog entry. It is what helps me to keep my sense of humor when I am having one of those infamous Bad China Days. 

The Next topic in my Social experiment series tackles online dating in China.  With online dating your picture is what everyone looks at first. I know if a guy doesn’t have a profile picture, I am less likely to read about him. He could have written something that was a beautiful as a Shakespeare sonnet but no picture no read. I am sure that men are doing the same thing with my profile.

  
Online dating is like being a kid in a candy store, so many choices to choose from but many people are selective in their choices. In a candy store I prefer jellybeans and caramel over black licorice.  It is just a choice. 

Online dating is just like that. My social experiment on this began as an accident. When I first came to China I had an online dating profile with OKCupid. My friend met her boyfriend now fiancé in China using OkCupid. I have had mixed results with this website in the past. So I did it I put up my profile. It has been active for 2 years. In 2 years I have had 14 responses to my profile. Oh and 106 views. Of the responses most of them were black men. The views I had a mix of men but mostly black.

  
 In the first profile I am heavier and there are only face shots. I also am wearing my hair in it’s natural state.  My smile and my words in the profiles remain constant. My age changed though. In China there is a stigma about age so I subtracted some years off my age in the first profile. Also I sent out maybe 4 responses that never got answered. 

Once I moved to Hangzhou after my tragic love life ,I decided to  give love another try.  I decided to open my OKCupid profile again.  Well guess what??? I forgot the password!  So I decided to open up a new account. A new account a fresh start. 

  
This profile was born about 3 months ago. So it is very new. I put up my most recent pictures. Well the response was way different. In 3 months I had about 51 men respond to my ad and over 100 views. These statistics are way better than my older profile. The words are  basically the same. I am still a romantic and still an animal lover.

So what could possibly illicit a difference in response?  There is a saying, ” A picture speaks 1000 words.” So yes image is everything. I think it is the differences in how I look. Many physical variables differ between the two profiles, like 60+ pound weightloss and sessions with my flatiron. Also in some pictures I appear lighter than in others. That is due to lightning and maybe some photoshopping skills. However I have a variety of pictures in both profiles.  Location may have also been a variable. However I was getting responses from different areas than where I live in both profiles so this variable probably is not a great enough factor to change the results of this experiment. Someone mentioned that I am more confident and that comes across in a photo. Maybe …. But I don’t see that as I look over my two profiles. I see the same exact expression.

  
Another thing that I noticed was the type of men that responded to me in both profiles. In the first profile it is mostly black men that respond to me. I would say they are all Africans. Many were very polite in their responses. I don’t often reply using the first profile. I only remember it whenever I get an email alert to a message. 

   
The second profile I get responses from a variety of men representing a variety of races. I guess this profile is more man friendly.  Maybe the overall cuteness factor of ChocolateChickinChina revamped is the answer. Maybe it be an unknown like how many licks does it  take to get to the center of Toostie Roll Tootsie Pop. The world may never know.

The British are Coming

This blog is all about my closest group of friends in Hangzhou, who I lovingly call The Brits. I can’t begin to explain how loving and funny they all are. They opened up their ranks and accepted this lone American in their fold. There is also a Canadian in our group but he doesn’t come out as often.

IMG_1080
Each of the Brits have their own distinct and lovely personality. I just love their deprecating, dry and sarcastic sense of humor. I find it refreshing. I always have a blast when I hang out with the Brits. So without further ado let me introduce you to the Brits.

IMG_0652-0
This is Mr. Debonair himself, Sir Ashton, our leader. Ash has a heart of gold and is a good friend, though I worry about his liver. He loves a pint or 20. He is a likable bloke and always organizes us together. He is our king. He drinks so many Long Island Ice Teas that I fear that he may morph into Joey Buttafuco one day( Google that name if you don’t get my joke) Ash is a friend that I met though another friend and he is the one that introduced me to The Brits. He also is a matchmaker and he is trying to find love for me. What a sweetie. Just don’t get him angry.

IMG_1089-0
Next up we have Sam, the most cynical and funniest in the group. Sam is the music critic and he gave me a thumbs up on my music in my phone. He is a Smiths fan, which I absolutely love. He smokes Marlboro Ice Blast and drinks Tiger beer. He hates music by Michael Jackson, it is like nails on the chalkboard for him. Oh well nobody is perfect.

IMG_1118
This is Big Ben, and my opinion the most mature of the bunch. Ben dresses like the classic English gentleman. He is the classy one and is very well spoken. He actually isn’t a Brit, he is a Welshman. Ben found true love in China. He and his girlfriend are so sweet they give me a toothache.

IMG_1257

IMG_1279
Next is Baby Joe, a fresh faced young lad. I like Joe he is very adorable. He has game, I have to say. Within one week of moving to Hangzhou he found a beautiful girlfriend named Laura. They are so utterly adorable together. Joe can be a bit naive and is the butt of every single joke. He is a Liverpoolean and rumored to be the illegitimate grandson of one of The Beatles. If you believe that you are more gullible than Joe.

IMG_1137-0

The Chicks. The Brits have their Chicks. Their chicks are Chinese. They are Brits by association. We can call them The Chits.

IMG_1510
This is DanLi, girlfriend of Ben. She is uber nice and a chocoholic. No piece
of chocolate is safe around her. She is also a piano teacher. I think she is absolutely beautiful both inside and out. Ben is one lucky boy.

IMG_1511
This is Laura , Joe’s girlfriend. If Maryann( from Gilligan’s Island) and Dorothy( from the Wizard of Oz) had a love child then it would be Laura. Laura is just a sweetie. She is very kind and helpful. I always have such a pleasant conversation with her. She is such a cute and petite lady. Her English is very good. She is an English teacher.

IMG_1084-0
Helley is no one’s chick! She is single and strong minded. Her drink of choice is ginger ale. We have not fully corrupted her yet. I know many foreign men would love to have a girl like her. Her English is very good. She and I are the single ladies of the group. I would love to set her up but she is content with her life the way it is.

IMG_1091
The Canadian, is the only other non Brit. He is actually a nice guy and a good friend He is fun to be around and makes me laugh. He is a mountain man and loves the outdoors. Johnathan likes to take exploration trips around Hangzhou on his days off. He use to play in a band in Canada.

The are my motley crew of friends. I love them to bits. So cheerio mates.

Xiamen Stories:The Family

DSC00381

I have been in Xiamen for about three days and it is paradise. Xiamen is one of the cleanest cities in China. It is so lovely with palm trees and hot tropics. it reminds me of the Taiwan that I see in all those Chinese dramas that I watch online. The people here are friendly and the men here are really good looking. That is another post though.

This post is just to introduce the family that I am living with for this month.  The family name is Lin. It  consists of a dad that is  an architect. He is  also a kind  and  loving husband  and dad. A mom who is  quite beautiful and kind. She listens  to French music and likes wine. She loves being a mother and  she is very good  at it. I enjoy watching her roll on the  floor and playing with her children.  Then there is the grandma and  she is so lovely. She has this air of  poise and  grace.. She  helps care  for the children. I like her alot  too. Then there  is the housekeeper. She doesn’t live there  but stays there  all day and then goes  home. She  is  a good cook and  also takes care  of the  baby. She  has a warm and friendly smile.

The Baby

The Baby

Oh and  baby Lala. OMG so cute and  clever. I so want a baby!! The baby has bells that she  wears on her ankles, so you can hear  her  coming. I like that idea and  she  is always  coming. She  is one  years old.  I gave  her Uni(sorry Lesly) and now  she  is my best friend. I taught her how to say hi and  hello in English. She  already knew bye bye. Now when  she  walks into the  room she  says hello.  I wasn’t  kidding when I said clever!

Last, but not least is Nono; the  10 year  old that I am tutoring. She  is quite outspoken at times. She  is sweet, funny, creative  and clever. I really love  her  personality. She  has  me  laughing all the time.  She loves to pulverize  me in chess. I never  could understand that  game. She  also is  such a doting big sister. I have  already  bonded  with  her. Vivacious  is  the  adjective  that describes  her  best. She  told her  dad that  he  has  to  stop  smoking because the teacher  does not like it!

Nono, the girl I am tutoring

Nono, the girl I am tutoring

I feel  God  has been with me  on his  whole journey  during the  summer. I am learning about myself. In Anhui I rediscovered my heart. In Xiamen I am rediscovering a sense  of  family. I have  not had that sense of  family for over 10 years. After my mom died,  my family became  distant. I truly missed having a family. Their  love and  bond is  so amazing.  I have become very distant in those 10 years. This is  showing me  what love is. The lord is  showing me this maybe  as a means of preparation. Everyday, I am opening up more and  more. Oh and today the  baby only wanted to hold my hand  and not her  daddy’s. That was  too cute.

Loving sisters

Loving sisters

Anhui Adventures: Never Can Say Goodbye

My students

My students wrote this  for me

I am so sad  today. The last  day of  instruction was yesterday. I am feeling a great  sense of loss. I have  made a connection with these students in such a  short time. I am sadden that it is  all about to end. time flew  by  so  quick.

I will always  cherish my time  in Anhui and  hope that  i may be  able  to return to this  friendly province. To me  it  feels like  home. The  students have  all connected  with me.  I feel like I am part of a cohesive family. I do not want to lose this feeling. I feel  blessed that I was allowed the  opportunity  to work  with such an amazing staff and the  best bunch of  students that I have ever encountered.

My  memory book

My memory book

Will is  comforting Anna

Will is comforting Anna

I made the  last day pretty mellow and  relaxed. I was sad and  wanted  to have a relaxing moment with my students. We played  dodgeball, watched  movies  and made memory books. the students had to write  down their fondest memory of  summer camp.

This  was  very emotional  for the  children because  just as  i have  fallen in love  with then, they have  fallen in love  with me. It was cray me a river there was not a dry eye  in the classroom. Even Matt was teary eyed. John lasted the longest and  Jonathan  decided  he  could not  deal with us  and  went off to  his dad.

As I held unto my students trying to  console them, I really knew that I would  love the  opportunity to be  able to teach in Jixi, not sure if  it is a possibility but it is  something that I will pray on. If God wants me  here then there  will be  a way. All I know is that it does not  feel right that I am leaving Jixi.

The students were

The students were weeping

I soon broke  down in tears  and  my students  began to  comfort me. It was  quite  an emotional scene.  No one  wanted  it  to end. The camp faced  many hardships but we persevered. Together  we  are stronger. I really  do want to keep in touch with everyone. My heart is aching right now  as  I write this. I know that I have  a new adventure waiting in Xiamen but Xuancheng is  where my heart is.

Zoe is in tears

Zoe is in tears

Anhui Adventures: My Students

DSC00335

The best  part  about  being in Anhui is  the  students. I have  never  met  such a  group of  kind  and  humble  students.  The  kids  are  so  down to earth. Being in  Anhui  has  changed  me  so much. It  has  given me  direction. The children have  helped  to  cleanse  my  troubled  soul and  have  shown me the  direction that  I want  to  go  with my  life.

I realize  now  that my  place  is  with the kid,s not in a university setting. This  will mean a job  change  after my  contract is  up.  In the  middle  of  a school year  too! Wish  me  luck in that endeavor  and  pray that i will find the right placement

My class is  hysterical, I have  18 students.  Out of  those  students  15  are  boys. You know  how  middle  school boys can be, rambunctious, sneaky, mischievous. They were  quite a  handful but I love  them  so much. They  were eager  to learn and  we  built  up  such a rapport together.

Each student  has a distinct  personality. There was  Matt who is the troublemaker  who had a mega crush on one  of  the teaching assistants. I have  a soft spot  for the bad boys, I just loved Matt he  was a cutie. Then there  was John, he  always got in trouble never  listened and  always ended  up almost  getting hurt because he  never listened. There was Mark the  buck tooth beaver.  Awwww he  is  soo precious his English level was low but he  tried  so hard and  his  smile  warmed  my heart. There was Bill who is  just a  cool kid and  an amazing dancer. His  mom is  the richest woman in town but Bill is  so level headed and  down to earth. He treats everyone equally. He is  so not a  snob.

DSC00327

Oh  and then there was Anna.  Anna  and  I totally connected. Her mom was my  co teacher  in the class. This  little  girl  is  such a happy, optimistic  and loving child. She is 12 years old an  she  has  stolen my heart. She always  cheerful and kind. Eliza, her  mom is  my new female  friend in China. I am really  going to miss her friendship. I will keep in touch  with them. I was even invited over to their  house  for dinner. I really  wish that i had  the opportunity  to see her  grow into a lovely  young  woman.

I had Mike  and  Ken who loved  to dance. On break time those  two were always  doing Gangnam Style. It was too funny. My boys  did  enjoy  dancing and  singing. They  had  me  laughing for  most  of the  class especially  during  break time.

Oh and there  was  James, James is  also a  student  who  will be  forever engraved upon my heart. He was the  oldest and tallest boy in my  class at age  15. He  had the  calmest and  sweetest  demeanor. His  desire  to learn  English was  high. He sat in the  front and he out of  all my students  made the  most  progress. I love  this  boy so much.

Oh and the twins Mark and Luke(they  choose those  names on their own) is it ironic! They had  a  higher  level  on English than most  of the  students. It was  so  fun communicating with them. I really felt a  connection with them, plus  they are  so funny and friendly who  could  not  love the twins. DSC00317

Oh  and  Jim whose  parents are  both  teachers and  he  had  the highest English  level. Jim is  a smart  kid and has a  sense  of  justice. He  has the  heart of  a rebel but he  does it in such a subtle  and  clever  way.

I also  had  the privilege  of having Jonathan, a foreign  teacher’s  son in my  class.  H aving an expat  child in the  class really  was  a learning experience  for the  Chinese  students. Jonathan  made  some  lifelong  friends  and  he  told  me  he was hesitant  to leave the  school.

Oh and my two lovely girls Lisa  and Zoe. It was great  watching them torture  the  boys during break time. These girls were at  first intimidated  to be  in a  class  surrounded  by  boys, gradually  though they got  more  comfortable. Zoe taught me  how to blow  a double balloon. A balloon inside  a  balloon. It is  so unbelievably cool. And Lisa has the  funniest laugh and  she  is  quite the actress.

We learned  so much together. I taught them high frequency words, greeting, Western Culture and  Chinese Culture, phonics. I Also taught them about American football,  baseball and  dodgeball(In the  next and very  short blog). We have  been practicing for plays  that I wrote that we  will be  performing on the final day  of  camp. They  learned  about Western music. I also  learned  so much from my students  to. They taught  me  so much more than I taught them, They  showed me  my  true purpose and they  opened  my heart  to love. I will always remember  Jixi with a fond  heart.

Anhui Adventures: The Hotel

DSC00078

After the  long long car ride, we were told that our  rooms on campus were  not ready, so we  would be  put into a hotel for  two days. I have  found that my stays  at hotal s in China have  been quite pleasant.  Well escept the my universities hotel room. Ughs.

The hotel staff was  so excited  to see us. There are not a lot of foreigners that  come  to Xuancheng. So seeinga  foreigner  is a big  deal. The staff was  really nice. We had  to check in and  our  passports were  scanned.

We were taken in the elevator. We had  to make  two trips because the elevator  was narrow.  We were  both on the fifth floor. The Vice  head master  of the school opned the  rooms i walked  into the  first room. The  vice principal said  non no no and pointed to Jose  and  Jonathan. He  gestured  for  me to go to the  corner  room.

chairs

chairs

Exif_JPEG_420

A bathtub, I never got a chance to use it. I was scared my big butt would get stuck.

To my utter suprise  and delight it  was a suite!!1 This was the  nicest room that I have  ever styaed in. I left like a queen. I have  two two bathrooms. One bathroom had a bathtun! I had a living room with a chaise,  couches and a TV with cable. My bed was a huge king sized. There was also another TV in that room and a  computer  with internet axis.

I was so nears tears. I flopped on my bed and was comforted by a soft western style mattress. It was like I was  sleeping on a cloud. It was  an  end  to a perfect  day.

Sleeping on a cloud

Sleeping on a cloud

Anhui Adventures: Arriving at School

Xuancheng is surrounded  by  beautiful mountains

Xuancheng is surrounded by beautiful mountains

This  is  part  of  a series  about my  month teaching in Anhui province at  a  summer camp. I have  been  here  since July 3rd, however  due  to internet snafus and  being  busy with lesson planning I only  have  the  time  now to  update my readers on my adventures. I have  so much to update, So my lucky readers prepare a series  of post overloads. 🙂

The company that  hired  me  to work  for  the  summer  arranged a flight for me  from Nanchang to Hangzhou. The flight was only about an hour  and my friend  Liu Jia took me  to the  airport  to say farewell.  We arrived  early, I am so  parnoid  about things  happening like the cab breaking down. So we  sat in the  airport people watching for  two hours.

courtesy  of www.disneygo.com

I got a window seat, iy was  so relaxing to watch the happy little clouds. Don’t  clouds  make you  so happy! Bob Ross likes  happy little fuffy  clouds.  I  felt like  I was in his  paintings.  
The  plane  landedand guess  which ditz could  not unfasten the seatbelts? ME!!! I think I have  blonde roots. I was struggling with it. Finally an older Chinese  knight in  shining armor saved the day. He unfastened  my seatbelt with the greatest of  ease. Yeah , I am a ditz. Next i went  to  claim my  luggage, did I mention that I had  to pay an overage fee?. My friend  told  me that I packed too much. Well, I am going  to be  gone  for two months and I am a girl.

I got off the plane and  look for  my contact person. Everyone  has  signs  with  names  on them. My  contact  did  not. I could  not spot  him so I called him. He told  me  what  he was  wearing. We finally  found  each other, He helped me  with the bags. He was shovcked  at how heavy my bag was. He had  no clue that I bought mama and  baby  bag. Big papa bag was at home all alone. He  told  me  to the car  where I met Jose and  his son Jonathan and their adorable puppy Chino. I  just love their  puppy. I wanted to steal him and  give  him hugs and  kisses.  I still want  to steal him to this  day. He is my rent a puppy!!!  I nicknamed him Chi Chi.

Look at the cutie pie!!!!!

Look at the cutie pie!!!!!

We had  a  four hour  car ride. It was  a great way to get to know the TAs. They are  college students  and  get to help  us  in the  class room. The hour  car drive  really  helped  us  all to  bond. I sat in the  front seat. Oen of the only perks about being a fatty is that I always  get to call frontsies! Due to my size I am really just  too big right now to sit anywhere  else in a car when there  are lots of people.

On the  car ride I found  out that I had  a lot in common with Jose. He is  also  from New York. He is a professional teacher like myself. Oh and  he use  to work at the Newark Board  of  Eduation! My former district neighbor. Oh and  he too  moved  to New Jersey  after living in NY. He  is  funny as  hell too. He is now my new BFF in China.  Jason you have been replaced! Hehehehe

We  did not arrive at the school until 10 pm. They had a banquet  meal waiting for us. Everyone  knows that I have been trying to lose weight, well I  did  partake  in the  feast  and it was  so delish. Hands  down it was one  of the best meals in China. The food was not  spicy, like it is in Nanhang. There was  duck tongue, this beef that was surely water buffalo,  a  fish dish and  an assortment of  veggies. I was hungry   so I dove  right in. I did eat small amounts.

After eating we were shown our rooms. We had  to stay in a hotel te  first night. Oh I wasa lucky girl. I will post next about the hotel room.

Duck Tongue

Duck Tongue

Hunk of  Meat, tasted like water buffalo
Hunk of Meat, tasted like water buffalo

A fish in a sweet  sauce. It was the most succulent fish that I ever tasted.
A fish in a sweet sauce. It was the most succulent fish that I ever tasted.

Previous Older Entries