It has almost been 5 months since stepped off the plane and began my new life in China. I will admit that I was scared. I am so glad though that I took the chance. China has changed me in so many ways. I lost myself in America but I am rediscovering myself as I stay longer in China.
Many people ask if I miss America. I do in some sense but not in others. I miss the ease of being able to converse with people. I miss my dog, my church and my niece Caity. I miss Lisa and her children as well. I do sometimes reflect on the friends that I left behind. I knew though in my heart back home that living in America was not my destiny. My destiny lies elsewhere. Is my destiny in China?… not sure yet but I am adapting to life in China rather quickly and I don’t feel the feelings of unrest here as I did in the states.
Did my life in China turn out exactly as I planned? Hmm not really. Heck I wanted to step off the plane and find my soul mate a get married and have a baby. Then hang out with Esther and Jo(black women who married Chinese men and live in China) as my married BFFs. It would be great we could get manis and pedis and sip on mimosas. Hmm I still have a couple of years though and maybe I can have a daughter and arrange a marriage between her and Esther’s new baby boy.
I was being unrealistic in my time frame, I wanted it now! I am sure Mr. Right will come into my life soon. There is still tons of things that I have to improve upon with myself before I am fully ready to receive love. That is what my first ill attempted love affair in China taught me. You can’t force and orchestrate love. My destiny is still an unwritten book. I will enjoy and be ready for this adventure known as life.
I knew this day would happen! I had to go to the dentist. People who know me personally know that I didn’t go to the dentist much in the states due to the cost of it. Oh and other reasons as well. Well I developed a severe infection in my gums and it moved to my throat. I went to the doctor and he told me to go to the dentist. I had a bad tooth.
My colleague Hansen(aka Reformed Grumpy Old Man) just happened to have to go to the dentist that day. Jason was accompanying him. I have nicknamed Jason H.B. He is turning to his little errand boy. I find it hysterical.
I felt that it was an omen from above that I needed to take care of my teeth right away. I am aware what happens when you leave an infected decayed tooth in your mouth too long. It can end up affecting your heart and cause death. So this chocolate chick does not want to die just yet. I have no reason but finances that kept me delaying this process in the USA. Ok that and maybe fear of dental work.
I was ready to go at around noontime, Hansen called the hospital just to find out that we had to wait until 2:30. For my fellow expats in china you know that the Chinese tend to have nap-time from 12-2pm everyday. Americans before you chuckle, the Chinese are way more hardworking than your average American , so they deserve a rest!
So I napped. I love to nap! After my nap, Jason called and said we were leaving and the cab would meet us at the back gate. Then Cowboy said the cab was coming to the apartment building. Jason was getting impatient, he said we should go to the gate. i was in pain and evil. When I am in pain and evil watch out. so poor Jason because my whipping boy. I was yelling at him. easy target, i guess. He called Cowboy like 3 times. Cowboy came in the cab and we picked up Hanson. Cowboy didn’t come with us, William one of Hansen’s H.B came instead.
The name of the dentistry hospital that we went to was called Number One Dentistry Clinic (that is what Hansen said)l. I guess it has to be the best. When we got there I have to say it was modern and nice from a Chinese perspective. Americans would wrinkle their noses at it. Two nurses asked me why I was here I explained via William my translator(I really need to learn Chinese)
Oh, the mean time Hansen kept repeating,” VIP! VIP!VIP! We go to VIP.” I went to the cashier to pay for my book and card. Then we were told that we had to go to the third floor. Hansen asked if it was VIP. As we were in the elevator, Hansen explained that in China that usually interns do dentistry on people. Only as a VIP can you be guaranteed a doctor
When we got to the third floor we saw tons of people waiting. Hansen walked back and then informed us that this was not VIP. He said it was on the 4th floor. Once we got to the 4th floor Hansen go walked like we owned the place. In China, there is this strange obsession with foreigners meaning that we get top service and quick service. I have not seen this happen to me unless i am accompanied by a Caucasian expat. Mostly, I am treated like everyone else. i never really got preferential treatment . So I would like to publicly thank Hansen for this!!!
Hanson was in the chair getting his work done, they looked at my mouth and told me I had to get my teeth pulled. I had to go down to the second floor. since William was occupied with Hansen, I was given a Chinese dentistry student that spoke adequate English to be my guide. Jason tagged along too.
When I got to the second floor William brought me right in. Wow VIP, I guess. i am not use to this, in the states i was treated crappy, less than a person. I was tearing up. I was examined and , I was told that I had to get x-rays on the second floor. The helpful lad brought me down to the second floor.
They gave me paperwork and I had to go downstairs to pay the cashier before I could get my x-ray. I was escorted down stairs. Then I was taken to the x-ray room. I don’t remember the last time i got a dental e-ray. I forgot that I had bobby pins in my hair, so I had to take that out. After x-ray i was taken back to the second floor. They doctors looked at it and told me that I had three bad teeth but two really bad ones. I opted to remove the two bad ones.
I was given a slip to take down to the cashier. So yet again, I was taken downstairs. I paid the cashier and was given a receipt and went upstairs. i don’t understand why i had to go downstairs twice. Why could I not pay for everything together. I guess it is The Chinese Way. Jason opted to stay upstairs and talk to the pretty dental intern that was pulling teach.I don’t think he scored the digits, i am not sure he tried. Jason has gotten domesticated lately(no fun)
Oh , before I continue, I have to describe how this particular dentist clinic was set up. Maybe Jo, or others have different experiences than I did. Ok well in the US we have rooms where the dentist treats you behind closed doors. It is all very private. I like it that way. Well not in China, the operation was in cubicles. Everyone can see you! There is no privacy. In fact while I was waiting I watched some cute guy get his tooth yanked out. I was to go after him. Then guess what? The chair broke! They had to get someone to repair it. I was told to sit outside and wait. Jason was not helping the situation. He was telling me about how painful it was going to be. He made me even more nervous. i was wishing Cowboy came. Cowboy has such a calm demeanor.
Finally it was my turn the intern was going to pull my teeth. She told Jason it would take 20 minutes if I cooperated. Do you think I cooperated? Heck no!!! Firstly my gums and my throat were infected so it was hard to open my mouth. Secondly the needle was freaking huge. Thirdly since when has anything been easy for me??? So I was a challenge from the beginning. I was not able to open my mouth wide enough and the anesthesia needle hurt. I am a big baby so I started screaming. Someone came and opened my mouth for me. I heard Jason tell me to calm down.
I had to wait for a few minutes for the anesthesia to take affect. Finally they began to extract my teeth. The first one came out easy enough. The second one was a bit tougher, I still had feeling in my gums so I was injected with more anesthesia. I kept closing my mouth. The intern kept telling me to open my mouth. I thought that I was done, then she pulled a third tooth. This tooth did not want to leave. the roots were strong. This one was hurting I screamed in agony.
It wasn’t budging, she had to call over the dentist. He tried but it was not budging and I was screaming in pain, he was not relenting. I started to cry and Jason told me people were gathering around. They applied more anesthesia to the area. The demented dentist was at war with tooth. He was not gentle anymore. He pulled and and pulled he was being a bit rough now. finally he won the battle, the tooth was out that area was throbbing. I began to cry. I had cotton shoved in my mouth and was unable to talk.
I was waiting on the scripts. the doctor did not write out a script. They told me to get antibiotics from a pharmacy, they wrote down what I needed. in Chinese. Also the doctor felt that I did not need a painkiller. Americans are weak we need painkillers! I was crying shaking my head trying explain. Jason was trying to explain to the intern as well. When Hansen found out he went with William to get the scripts. I have a feeling Hansen went up there causing havoc. Gotta love him!!! He came down with the scripts which we got from the pharmacy down stairs.
Yeah so my first trip to the dentist was full of tears because I was a baby! I cried the whole way home in the cab. It was cheap though get a tooth extraction. It cost 160 kuai to get 2 teeth pulled. That is roughly 24 USD! It cost way more than that in the US. Oh and I paid for two teeth to be and they pulled the third one for free. Buy 2 get one for free what a deal! I wish though i had a sexy Chinese boyfriend to come home to and comfort me. I took my meds and went to sleep, I dreamed of handsome Asian men though!
I was really excited about my first night out in Nanchang! I have been cooped up in this college far too long. I have said before I am in the boonies. The biggest excitement here is counting the amount of time the rooster crows each day. It is peaceful and picturesque. It can get very lonely here at times. If it was not for my neighbor Jason, I would have gone mad already!
I really don’t mind it, but I get lonely and it is very hard to meet people on my isolated campus. By people I mean single Chinese men. age over 24 but under 40 handsome and open minded. Funny and smart and loves a rubinesque black woman named Amber. I just love Asian men, yes I admit it! I have been struck down with Yellow Fever and i don’t want a cure, I just want a husband, so maybe if I go out more I can find a man.
We had a BBQ on the roof to welcome Jason’s friend, a former teach at my school we will call him Dick to protect his identity. He was an intense Texan guy, I liked him. He was definitely a square peg! Best of all he rented a KTV room! Finally my chance at KTV. i love singing. I have wanted to go to KTV since I was living in the states. We have a KTV place near my campus, it’s neon lights are mocking me! Well ok KTV was a no go!!!! Well first there was no alcohol and the Irish drunk man was not having it. In a sense he was right if Richard rented the room then according to Chinese custon he should have provided alcohol for everyone. He did not and since we were the foreigners we would be the next one to be looked upon to provide the adult beverages.
So I did go into a KTV room but I did not sing. I am so sadden by this! One day I will get my moment to sing!!!! We went to the Drunken Irish Men new flat. I liked it it was a duplex. He had to shower, the guy showers 3 times a day!. I only shower once, I am a stinky bitch!. The drunken guy’s girlfriend was there, she is so beautiful. Just so graceful and feminine. I feel like a fucking water buffalo. The Zambian girl was there too and she is like a sexpot. The girl just oozes of sexuality. That song Brickhouse was written about woman like her. Yeah, I guess i was a bit jely. So I was like a frumpy grandma in my sneakers and frumpy baby doll dress.
I went to my first Chinese bar and what a let down!!!! It was like I was the invisible woman. Just like in the bars back home. I always read Jo Gan’s blog about her funny times in China and her hopping social life. Check out her adventures at http://www.mylifebehinbdthewall.wordpress.com. Her last club experience was so fun! My bar experience was basically talking to the Pakistani bartender and Jason’s students. The bartender did not know how to make any drinks.
There were highlights of the evening like now the Drunken Irish Man will now be known as the Dancing Drunken Irishman. I can’t keep up with him! He is too much for me. Oh and the crash and burn of Jason trying to pick up these Chinese girls in the bar. They refused his drinks! The best part is that I got 2 free shots out of the evening, one was from the bartender and the other was the rejected drinks!
On Friday, my students came over to cook me a Chinese meal. They wanted to thank me for making them a Western meal earlier in the week. I wasn’t feeling well at all all week and yet I entertained my students. I went to the clinic and have been on antibiotics. I worked Thursday but had this Friday off. I was sleeping in and heard a banging on the door. It was my Chinese tutor Lee. Behind him were a brigade of my Chinese students. It was an Asian Invasion!! I was groggy and sick but let them in.
Busy bees making dumplings
As the girls were bombarding my kitchen, Lee began to teach me pinyin. It is my deepest desire to learn Chinese. I really want to communicate to the people living here. Who knows maybe I can attract a Chinese cutie if I can at learn to speak Chinese. Also I am sick of pointing at this and saying that one and smiling. I am in China so I feel obligated to learn the language out of a mixture of respect and survival.
When my lesson was over, I invited Lee to stay but he had to go back to his campus. The girls were ready to make dumpling. Dumpling 101 commenced! I was shown the technique, first you you get the round circular dough, you gather the filling using chopsticks and place in on top of the circular dough. Next you dip your fingers in a bowl of water place water around the edges and fold in half. Then you pinch the dough using a pleated methods. Sounds and look simple enough. The girls made it look easy. My first attempt looked more like baozi and less like a dumpling. Yes it was an ugly dumpling. so the girls showed me another way to make the pinches.
It took me awhile before I made an acceptable dumpling. My dumplings were definitely not as pretty as my students. Rome was not built in a day it will definitely take more time that and day to learn who to make dumplings. The hardest part was the pinching part. My folds just aren’t pretty. I can tell when I am eating the dumplings which one I made.
My first and fifth dumpling. I am improving
While there was a crew of us making dumplings there were other girls making a variety of dishes. there were about seven students in my kitchen. It was smelling so yummy. I was so happy. A home needs to have people in it. I haven’t really experienced a homey atmosphere since my mom died. My friend Lisa opened her home to me prior to me leaving the US and it was at that moment I realized that I hated living alone.
It was so nice chatting with them as we were folding dumplings, it was a girl bonding moment. I don’t experience much of that. My childhood friend was not a gushy girly girly, so she had no ides about female bonding. When i got older I had more gal pals and we did female bonding rituals. I really missed that and the dumpling making really helped me.
Finally dinner was ready, we had tomato and egg, cucumber and sausage, dumplings and a dish of just sausage. It was very yummy. Oh and they begged me to make my garlic bread again. They said it was so delicious before that they wanted to taste it again. The best part was the fellowship and the company. Oh I forgot we left the door open and my neighbor walked in. He wanted to borrow water to get tea. The water guy who delivers our water was MIA, once the Chinese teacher saw the girls he decided to stay. I was feeling very tired and my students are nursing students and they saw my meds so they knew that I was a sick teacher. we talked for a bit and I showed them my Facebook and they talked to some of my friends that were on Facebook on Friday.
All in all Friday was a fun night. I can’t wait until I get to make dumplings with them next time.. One of the girls even likes karaoke! Score!!!!
My sweet students. I think I lost weight since I have been here!
I am still in the process of all my classes doing their oral presentations. I have started on three classes. For all students that receive A’s on their presentations, I have invited them for a yummy western meal prepared by yours truly. I have 7 classes, so I will be in the kitchen very often. Luckily the Fushen campus isn’t that interested, they would have to travel too far. So I decided to offer this more towards the students in the Wanli campus.
Half way through I noticed that I was getting A’s so I decided to invite the first batch of students. Today I have 7 of my sweet nursing students, On Tuesday I will have 7 more and on Thursday, I will have 5. Oh and My nursing students all mostly girl classes. I have like 7 boys in on of the classes and 4 boys in the other Wanli class that I teach.
Squeezing around my table for four.
I decided to make sausage and peppers for all the A students. It is easy and cheap, however now I have to eat the same dinner three days in a row. DUH!!!!! The next round of cooking will be after Laborer’s Day holiday. This is becoming my staple dish.
So I forgot to get the sausage, luckily my dear friend Jason was going to Auchan and picked me up some sausage. Oh and beer the secret ingredient. I arrange to have the girls come over at 6:30 oh and of course I wasn’t ready.
In China your dinner guest come promptly! So i was very behind schedule. The girls came bearing gifts! That was so sweet of them. I was overwhelmed. I am so not use to it. The each did a little bow as they handed me their gifts.
They came bearing gifts. Teaching in Jersey I never received any gifts!
My dinner guest had to wait 30 minutes before eating. Next time I am going to start cooking earlier. They started to take pictures of me cooking the food. They were amazed and kept saying wow. It was really cute.
I finally began setting the table. I didn’t have enough forks so some people had to use chopsticks. I also did not have enough plates so some people had to use bowls. I had 6 plates but 7 guests. We all squeezed around the table. I had to borrow, 2 additional chairs from my neighbor.
It is so nice just to have people over, back home in the USA my home was not considered the party place. No one ever came to visit me. I always visited other people’s homes. I don’t know why, I think I am an awesome hostess, well now in China, I guess I am making up for loss hostess time.
The girls really loved the food and it was just enough to feed all 8 of us! Afterwards they did the dishes for me!! I love it. When you invite Chinese students over they will clean for you. We sat around and talked, it was the perfect opportunity for the girls to practice their oral English. I think of every moment as a teachable moment.
I found out that two of my students live in Xi’an and Hangzhou, the two places that I am visiting this summer. Now I have tour guides. I also found out one of my students is going to study abroad in Australia next year, what a lucky ducky!
We listened to music as well, I really liked all off them especially Vivian, she loved KTV as well. so now, I have a KTV buddy! Yipppeeeee!!!!! The girls are coming back over this Friday to teach me how to make dumplings and other Chinese food. I am so happy that I decided to reach out to my students and make friends. I had so much fun.
After the girls left, I opened their presents. One girl girl Vivian wrote me the sweetest letter and I was in tears. It is amazing how people will open up and want to become your friends, if you just allow them in. It is hard for me because I have been hurt by people before, like a close friend. I am very trusting, but I decided to open myself up more:)
I had my first dinner party in China and it was a rousing success, How pray tell do I know it was successful? Ok get readers get ready for a bit of a spoiler. The way of knowing that you have a successful dinner party : 1) Empty plates 2) Three empty wine bottles 3) Playing Chinese drinking games 4) Singing karaoke to Journey and Frank Sinatra 5) No one had food poisoning Those are all wins in my book.
Jason and Cowboy
The party started on 7pm and on the menu was sausage, onions and peppers served over linguini. Anyone that knows me knows that I am not a natural cook. I need a recipe to follow. I found this amazing recipe online http://www.simplyrecipes.com/recipes/sausage_peppers_and_onions/ I substituted the Marsala wine for beer. I cannot find Italian sausage in China so I used whatever sausage that they had here. It taste sorta like kielbasa. Beer makes everything better, so it really didn’t matter much. I like to slice my sausage into bite sized pieces though so my end result looks nothing like the picture.
Sausage, onions and Peppers
One thing about me is I am terrible at synchronizing time. Some cooks have everything ready at the perfect time. The food is ready the house is filled with the aroma of soon to be eaten dinner. The hostess looks perfect, with impeccable make up, heels, pearls and wearing an adorable apron. Myself I am a sweaty mess with a catastrophe in the kitchen! First I started cooking too early, The guest were not due until 7pm, I started cooking at 5pm. Then It only took 45 minuted including prep for the sausage and peppers so I called and told them to come earlier, I started on my garlic bread. Oh and my guest came over. I was still cooking. I had the guys make the salad. I started to set the table. We had the salad ready. Oh then I had a blond moment, I forgot to boil the pasta.
Pwned: Real Men make salad
The boys started munching on the garlic bread that was so crispy but next time I am going to use real garlic instead of garlic powder. Finally dinner was served. I placed the biggest helping on Cowboy’s plate(Cowboy is Jason’s student) we need to fatten up these Chinese boys! Then once I land a Chinese man he will have more meat on his bones. I gave Jason a big serving too, I took a smaller serving size(I need to lose weight) I told them it was man versus food and not to punk out. Thus the eating competition began . Jason lost! Cowboy cleaned his plate first. Jason took sloppy second.
I only purchased one bottle of wine. Luckily, Jason brought over another bottle. Cowboy taught us about traditional toasting in China. He said since Jason and I are his senior when he toasted us his glass will always remain lower. He also gave each of us individualized toasts wish us health, happiness and vitality. I thought that was sweet!
Where the hell is the worm??? Maybe the Chicken ate it?
Once we cracked opened the second Cowboys face was flushed. He asked if we would like to play a Chinese drinking game. I was tipsy, Jason was drunk and Cowboy was drunk after the first bottle. I said sure, why not. The game was called “Worm, Chicken, Tiger, Stick” Cowboy explained the rules two people would face off and say either, worm, chicken, tiger or stick. Rules of the game are sticks beats chicken and tiger, worm beats stick but tiger and and chicken beat worm. I asked Cowboy why we can’t just play rock, paper, scissor. He was like well because it is chicken, tiger, worm and stick. I think saying stick is the most effective. My reasoning is that sticks can be used to beat the crap out of tigers and chickens. I was confused why worm beat sticks. The rather drunk Cowboy told me that it was because a worm is real and a stick is not. I was drunk by then so it made perfect sense to me.
So we played and of course Jason was losing at every round. I told him to say stick all the time. so we kept on saying worm, LOL. After we played, I told Cowboy that I knew of a song that should be his theme song. It was Bon Jovi’s ” Wanted Dead or Alive.” This is when drunken karaoke began. I also created a new Bon Jovi fan. Representin’ Jersey in China! Hehehehehe!
Cowboy cleaned his plate
We used youtube and youku to sing a variety of songs. Jason and I sang a duet of “Don’t Stop Believing” I sang Joan Jett, “I Hate Myself for Loving You.” Oh and we ended the night with me singing ” New York, New York.” I am a true New Yorker because I knew the whole entire song without lyrics. I rock!!!! So my first dinner party was a success. Oh and Cowboy is obsessive compulsive and he cleaned up everything. I asked Jason if I could have him! LOL
Check out my pretty new dishes. Aren’t they very girly 🙂
Jason has become my shopping buddy, He is like extremely patiently with my disorganized way of shopping. I am basically all over the place. The mission today was to get a toaster oven. I miss baking things. I never even though of the joys of an oven until I did not have one. Also I am having a dinner party tomorrow so I wanted to make garlic bread. A toaster oven is a very useful for an expat .
My toaster oven
Jason and I took the white van over to Auchan(my favorite store) While we were looking at the toaster oven, 2 employees rushed to help us. Then they took the toaster oven and opened the box and walked away. Jason told me they were checking to see if it works. This is when I had my WTF moment. In the USA they don’t plug up and check to see if the product works. In the US you buy the product and if it does not work you return the product or use your warranty. Jason said that they do the same thing in the Philippines.
This is one Chinese Way that I really appreciate. So guess what? My original product did not work when they tried turning it on. It was not heating at all. The oven was not warm. Three other employees rushed over to assist. So there were five women trying to get this oven to work. This was the last one of that model. One of the women rushed over to get the demo model. They plugged it in and this one heated up quickly. I decided to take the demo model, I didn’t like the other brand that they had. Now I just have to figure out Celsius. This one has pictures and tell you what temperature and how long to cook certain foods. It is idiot proof.
As we were walking away we noticed that the employee plugged the original one back in and it started smoking! It was defective. Thank goodness, the Chinese test products before you buy them! That is one practice I think we should adopt back home in the States. On a side note kudos to the customer service at this store. It is top notch. That is one of the main reasons that I like Auchan over Walmart. I have to say perhaps there is a unseen code that Walmart employees adhere to that states that they should ignore customers, be rude and text. The Walmart employees at the one I went to are just like back home!
Making a list and check it twice
Next I had to buy some things for the dinner party. This time I came armed with a list, I didn’t want to drive Jason too insane. I am not a list person, but it did keep me a bit more centered. I went off the list a bit, I bought a hamper. Oh and I forgot to add in plates, bowls and cups. I bought salad tongs as well. Oh and towels to wrap the dishes in. Plus I needed more towels. I forgot a big bowl to serve the salad in, so I am going to look in the local store on campus for that. I also bought some wine.
Between my purchases and Jason’s purchases we realized there was no way that we were going to fit all of this stuff in the white van. We also would have to hoof it back to our apartments. It is about a 15-20 minute walk from the back to where we live on campus, so we decided to take a taxi. We hailed one. There was a taxi driver passing us, he had a another person in the car he stopped and backed up into oncoming traffic. Jason , who speaks some Chinese told him where we were going. We stepped in the cab. This was the cabbie from hell. If he was born in the US he would have become a Nascar driver! OMG he drove fast. I have been in other taxis before but never have a ridden in one where he drives like a manic. He made a U-turn so quickly that you could hear his tires squealing! Oh and he broke out in spontaneous song and there was no music.
Speed Racer nearly missed the back entrance to the college. He was going close to 90 miles an hour. Jason screamed for him to stop that. He made the most abrupt stop and I was nearly thrown off my seat! He drove in the gate, there were no guard so he did not have to leave his taxi license with the guard(Oh something bizarro, the dude had two different taxi license with photos. Once we got in the cab he switched his license. That was all kinds of sketchy) He drove around the campus doing at least 60 miles per hour! Students were walking and had to jump out of the way! What a crazy cabbie! When he stopped in front of the apartment the tires screeched again. I was glad to be out of that cab!
