Worm, Chicken,Tiger, Stick and Drunken Dinner Party

Doesn't it look purty?

Doesn’t it look purty?

I had my  first  dinner party in  China and  it was a rousing  success, How pray tell  do I know  it  was successful? Ok  get  readers get  ready  for  a bit of  a spoiler. The  way of  knowing that you have  a successful dinner party : 1) Empty plates 2) Three empty wine bottles 3) Playing Chinese drinking games 4) Singing karaoke to Journey and Frank Sinatra 5) No one  had  food poisoning Those  are all wins  in my book.

Jason and Cowboy

Jason and Cowboy

The party  started on 7pm and on the  menu was sausage, onions and peppers  served over linguini.  Anyone  that knows  me  knows that I am not a natural cook. I need  a recipe to follow. I found this  amazing recipe online http://www.simplyrecipes.com/recipes/sausage_peppers_and_onions/  I substituted the Marsala wine  for  beer. I cannot  find Italian sausage  in China  so I used whatever  sausage that they had here. It taste  sorta like kielbasa. Beer  makes everything  better, so it  really didn’t matter much. I like  to slice  my sausage into bite  sized pieces  though so my end  result looks nothing like  the  picture.

Sausage, onions  and Peppers

Sausage, onions and Peppers

One thing about me is I am terrible  at synchronizing time. Some  cooks have  everything ready at the  perfect time. The food is  ready the house is  filled  with the aroma of soon to be  eaten dinner. The hostess looks perfect, with impeccable make up, heels, pearls and  wearing an adorable apron. Myself  I am a sweaty mess with a  catastrophe  in the  kitchen! First I started  cooking too early, The guest  were   not due until 7pm, I started cooking  at 5pm. Then It  only  took 45 minuted  including prep for the sausage  and  peppers so I called  and  told  them to come  earlier, I started on my garlic bread.  Oh and  my guest came over. I was  still cooking. I had the  guys  make  the  salad. I started  to set the  table. We had the salad  ready. Oh then I had  a blond moment, I forgot to boil the pasta.

Pwned: Real Men make salad

Pwned: Real Men make salad

The boys  started munching on the  garlic bread that was  so crispy but next time  I am  going to  use  real garlic instead  of  garlic powder. Finally dinner was served. I placed the  biggest helping on Cowboy’s plate(Cowboy is Jason’s student) we  need to fatten up these  Chinese boys! Then once  I  land  a  Chinese  man  he  will have  more meat on his  bones. I gave  Jason a  big serving too, I took a smaller serving size(I need to lose weight) I told them it was  man versus  food  and  not to  punk out. Thus the eating competition began . Jason lost! Cowboy  cleaned  his  plate  first.   Jason took sloppy second.

I only purchased  one  bottle of  wine. Luckily, Jason brought over another bottle.  Cowboy  taught us about traditional toasting in China. He  said  since Jason and I are  his  senior when he  toasted  us  his  glass will always  remain lower. He  also gave  each of  us  individualized toasts wish us health, happiness and vitality. I thought that was  sweet!

worm chicken tiger stick

Where the hell is the worm??? Maybe the Chicken ate it?

Once we cracked opened the second Cowboys face  was flushed. He asked if  we would like to play a Chinese drinking game. I was tipsy, Jason was drunk and  Cowboy was drunk after the  first bottle. I said  sure, why not. The game  was called “Worm, Chicken,  Tiger, Stick”  Cowboy  explained the rules  two  people  would face off and  say either, worm, chicken, tiger or  stick.  Rules of the  game  are sticks beats chicken and  tiger, worm beats  stick but tiger and  and chicken beat worm. I asked  Cowboy  why  we  can’t just  play rock, paper, scissor. He was like well because it is  chicken, tiger, worm and  stick. I  think   saying stick is the  most  effective. My  reasoning is  that sticks can be  used to beat the crap out of tigers  and  chickens. I was  confused  why  worm beat sticks. The rather  drunk Cowboy  told  me that it was because a worm is  real and  a stick is  not. I was drunk  by then so it made perfect  sense  to me.

So we  played  and  of  course Jason was losing at every  round. I told  him to say stick all the time. so we kept on saying worm, LOL. After  we  played, I told  Cowboy that I knew  of  a song that  should  be  his theme  song. It was Bon Jovi’s ” Wanted  Dead  or  Alive.” This  is  when drunken karaoke  began.  I also  created  a new  Bon Jovi fan. Representin’ Jersey in China! Hehehehehe!

Cowboy cleaned  his plate

Cowboy cleaned his plate

We used  youtube  and youku to sing a  variety  of  songs. Jason and  I sang a duet of “Don’t Stop Believing” I sang Joan Jett, “I Hate Myself for Loving You.”  Oh and  we  ended the  night  with me  singing ” New York, New York.”  I am a true  New Yorker  because I knew  the  whole  entire song without lyrics. I rock!!!! So my  first  dinner  party  was  a success. Oh and  Cowboy is  obsessive  compulsive  and  he cleaned up everything. I asked  Jason if I could have him! LOL

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